Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
