Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
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I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
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You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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