She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
