Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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