i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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