I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
