how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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