She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize