I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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