you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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