at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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