u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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