Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
