My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
