What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
