If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
