you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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