Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
