And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
