I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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