as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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