Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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