I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
