1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I understand Curling. That high.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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