I hate all girls vehemently.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
