some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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