i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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