What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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