Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
