Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
