You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
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I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
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ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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