i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize