Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
