brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
