2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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