I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
