doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
