What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
