I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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