made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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