went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
