Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
