A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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