he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
