I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
