Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
