IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
