Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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