glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
