Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
