So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
