my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize