Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
