Your dad touched me again.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
