His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?