Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?