My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
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I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
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That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.