Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
