awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
