69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
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You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
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The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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