I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Everyone says I win the strip club
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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