I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
