forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
