She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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